Monday, April 30, 2012

BRIDES Of the Kindred Book Two: HUNTED


Brides of the Kindred – Book 2 
Sophia Waterhouse has always been afraid of needles and vampires so there’s no way she wants anything to do with a modern day Count Dracula—even if he does come wrapped in the package of a huge Kindred warrior with blond hair and ice blue eyes. She’s only on the Kindred Mothership to participate in her sister Liv’s wedding and that’s all.
Sylvan is a Tranq Kindred who has made a sacred vow never to call a bride. After a devastating rejection on his home planet, his heart is a block of ice no one can melt—or so he thinks until he meets Sophia.
When their ship is forced down in the middle of a rugged mountain range Sophia and Sylvan are stranded. Running for their lives they have only each other to depend on. Will they give in to the intense attraction between them or will the evil hunting Sophia take its toll? You’ll have to read Brides of the Kindred Book 2—Hunted to find out.

I am so incredible pissed off at Evangeline that I could spitWhat is up??? is all I have to say and who gives you the right.  Here I am, minding my own business, trying to get ready for a huge test I have to take at work. It is the middle of my busy season. I have to work like crazy but hey, no problem, I have time to study and take my test to be a License Financial Planner. Important – extremely – Deadline – yes! So you ask, “WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?” This damn series!!!

I started reading the first in the series for our book club and I haven’t been able to put it down. This hasn’t happened in I can’t tell you how long.  I have control by golly – I am a martial artist – self-control is my thing but do you think I can get ready for that test to save my soul?  NO.  Gosh girl, what is up? And now is not the time. ARG. So I will just say it: this book is a five - yes, 5 – dip the strawberry in, swirl it around and chomp on it.  I am defeated because I just finished book two and there are more.  I don’t know what to do.

I don’t even like other-worldly type books.  I saw the series and I have to be honest at first I thought that I would have to try and be gracious and nice (damn Rebecca for selecting it as a featured series) – you know, tactful and all those other things. HERE'S MY WARNING: Don’t let any preconceived notions steer you away from one of the best books of the year.  I love it.  Evangeline – congratulations – you have to have the best imagination of any author out there.  

The story is fresh – the verbiage simple but ingenious – and the men OMG yum. I don’t give out fives often because I always hope that somewhere along the line I will run into another book or series that keeps me this wrapped up.   I bow down at your ability to make laugh and then cry. The first book with Baird and Olivia draws you in and thank you so much for keeping the characters in the second book. When you fall in love with a series you really do hate to see them go. 

I am done venting now so let’s talk a little bit about Hunted.  You can read the blurb but why in my opinion should you read it – THE KINDRED. These men are alpha alpha alpha male but they also have a vulnerable side to them. And it isn’t just the whole alpha thing – the Kindred way of life, life on a ship, looking at our lives through the outside eyes. Realizing that our customs look odd from their point of view so why do we judge what other people do and just the “how in the hell did she think of that” moments – all over the book. 
By the end of book two, you actually believe the “think-me’ is an actual device I should have in my house. 

The good/bad thing is in so many books yet, in the Brides of the Kindred, the Scourge and the All Father scare the shit out of me and I love the Priestess in the Sacred Grove. I think that I went back and read the bit about Pride and Fear three times before I could move forward. Well done! You won’t regret the choice and Evangeline – thank you again for something with a new twist – you are one talented author. I will say it again – 5 chocolate dipped strawberries

If you agree with me, COMMENT and be entered to WIN a $25 Amazon Giftcard (which you could use to purchase some of these awesome books!)

BRIDES Of the Kindred Book One: CLAIMED


Brides of the Kindred – Book 1

Olivia Waterhouse has just graduated from nursing school and has her whole life ahead of her—until she gets drafted. Problem is, she isn’t being forced into the Army, she’s been chosen as a Kindred bride.  The Kindred are huge alien warriors—a race of genetic traders whose population is ninety-five percent male. After saving Earth from the threat of invasion they demand a reward—the right to find brides among the population. The chances of being chosen are about the same as those of winning the lottery—guess it’s just Liv’s lucky day.  Baird is a Beast Kindred who recently escaped imprisonment and torture at the hands of the malevolent Scourge. Through the torment and pain only one thing kept him sane—the thought of finding and claiming his bride—Olivia. His need to possess her is a burning intensity that threatens to consume them both. Angry at having her future and her family taken away from her, Liv vows to fight back the only way she can—by resisting. She has one month on the Kindred Mothership with Baird—their claiming period. If she can keep from having bonding sex with him during that time, she can go home and get on with her life on Earth.  But Baird isn’t going to make it easy for her. Every week he is allowed to touch Liv more and more intimately and according to the contract she signed, she has to let him. She’s determined to resist him but his touch sets her on fire. And just as she thinks she knows what she wants, a twist of fate and an attack by the faceless Scourge All Father changes everything…
I have been Claimed by the on-going saga of the Kindred and their brides.  The irony is (except for one other fantasy series) I don’t even like these types of books.  But this series is centered on the romance; and the odd customs of the Kindred add humor and enough conflict to keep the storyline compelling.  I cannot stop reading – on book four now - which I so didn’t need right now while my own editing workload is piling up.

Evangeline Anderson is an incredibly imaginative author who has created this amazingly creative fantasy world.  Earth had been attacked by the Scrouge (they are bad), but the Kindred (they are good) save the Earth from their attack. In exchange, they ask only for a genetic trade.  Whenever a Kindred drafts a bride from the millions of women on Earth, Earth is obligated to send her to the Kindred’s ship for the Claiming period. 

The scary thing is that I could actually believe in the possibility of such a thing in the future… you never know what’s out there. And if this were to happen, PLEASE – PLEASE – PLEASE let me be drafted. The Kindred are equally alpha men and attentive lovers. In Claimed, Baird is a – frickin - mazing. He cooks, he cleans, he loves to give Liv massages, and (best of all) he enjoys focusing completely on Liv’s pleasure – think orgasms that make you pass out. Lucky, lucky girl… except Liv doesn’t see it that way at all. She knows bonding to him means she can’t go home to her twin sister so she holds out far longer than I would have been able. I understood her motivations but I kept wishing she’d give a little more (emotionally) to Baird who held his heart out for her to do with as she would.

Claimed is a fabulous beginning to a refreshingly unique series.  Baird and Olivia are the perfect couple to lead book one and the good news is that we’ll re-visit with them in the other books to come. Readers will fall in love with them while at the same time being captivated by the overall story. These books are long but full of action, quick pacing and deliciously erotic moments. There’s nothing else to say except this book so deserves our 5 Chocolate-Dipped Strawberry rating. Yum!

CONTEST ALERT!
Make a COMMENT to be entered for a CHANCE to WIN a $25 Amazon Gift Card. Comment every day for total of 4 entries!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

SPECIAL POST: Support Indie Authors!


Join Terri Giuliano Long for a week-long celebration of indie authors!




“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.”
–Walt Disney


From April 30 to May 5, author Terri Giuliano Long will be opening up her blog for a celebration of indie authors.  Terri is the author of bestselling novel In Leah’s Wake, and with sales of over 100,000 copies she’s proof that the indie model can work!

In Leah's Wake BLURB
A Story of Love, Loss, Connection, and Grace...The Tylers have a perfect life—beautiful home, established careers, two sweet and talented daughters. Their eldest daughter, Leah, an exceptional soccer player, is on track for a prestigious scholarship. Their youngest, Justine, more responsible than seems possible for her 12 years, just wants her sister’s approval. With Leah nearing the end of high school and Justine a seemingly together kid, the parents are set to enjoy a peaceful life…until everything goes wrong. As Leah’s parents fight to save their daughter from a world of drugs, sex, and wild parties, their divided approach drives their daughter out of their home and a wedge into their marriage. Meanwhile, twelve-year-old Justine observes her sister’s rebellion from the shadows of their fragmented family—leaving her to question whether anyone loves her and if God even knows she exists. Can this family survive in Leah’s wake? What happens when love just isn’t enough?

Now Terri is inviting several prominent authors to share their thoughts on their journey, their favorite indie authors, and what they’ve learned along the way.

The week will include a host of features, from ‘featured authors’, sharing their thoughts and inspirations, to a live BlogTalkRadio call in.  There will also be a live Twitter chat with author Terri Giuliano Long, plus guest posts from influential bloggers and indie promoters.

For a full schedule, please visit http://terriglong.com/blog/celebrating-indies. And don’t forget to enter the giveaway to win a $50 Amazon gift card, plus ebooks!  


Join the celebration!

WELCOME GUEST AUTHOR: Evangeline Anderson



The Ndulgent Bloggers welcome Evangeline Anderson, author of steamy smut and general all-around naughtiness. Her guilty indulgence is dark chocolate (I like the Godiva bar with raspberry filling the best) and writing hot stories. And she's here today at the Guilty Indulgence Review Site to ask you a question—  

What kind of Warrior do you Want?
*answer this question as a comment below for your chance to win a $25 Amazon Giftcard.

You can take your pick, ladies. My series, Brides of theKindred is about a race of genetic traders who want to establish a trade with Earth. The genetic trades the Kindred have already made have resulted in  several very specific types of Alpha males. But though they take on some of the physical characteristics of the race they are trading with, the Kindred gene always ensures three things: physical prowess, extremely large and muscular body structure, and undying loyalty to the female of their choice.

            Beast Kindred come from Rageron—a jungle planet full of beautiful but deadly flora and fauna. They have dark hair, golden eyes, and hot tempers but their most defining characteristic is the mating fist. The mating fist is an area at the base of the Beast Kindred’s shaft which engages fully only during bonding sex with his chosen mate. This ensures sex that is both tantric and multiorgasmic for both partners.

            Blood Kindred are blond with pale blue eyes and come from Tranq Prime where ice, snow, and arctic-like temperatures are the norm. To combat the severe weather conditions, the Blood Kindred have higher than normal body heat with double the human amount of red blood cells. They have developed specific biting rituals to share their supercharged blood and take the blood of their mates during their own version of bonding sex. They have a set of double fangs located where a human’s canine teeth would be. These fangs do not develop fully or become sharp enough to pierce flesh until a Blood Kindred is with a woman he wishes to mate and bond with.

            Twin Kindred come from Twin Moons—a world of vast, stormy oceans dotted with craggy but beautiful islands. True to their namesake, Twin Kindred always come in pairs. The brothers are not identical, however. There is always a light twin and a dark twin. These labels refer not just to skin, hair, and eye coloring but to the twin’s moods and perceptions of the world. The dark twin in the pair is usually more moody and withdrawn while the light twin takes a substantially brighter view of life. The twins are closely linked and able to sense each other’s emotions. They cannot be separated by long distances or for long periods of time without severe pain. They must also share a woman, linking her into their mental and emotional exchange for very intense ménage sex.

Of course if you’d rather have one of the bad guys you can opt for one of…

The Scourge—A genetic trade gone wrong, these menacing outsiders have twisted desires and sexual needs fierce enough to frighten away even the most adventurous. Their need to dominate and possess their women completely has led to a strange prophesy that they must fulfill…or die trying.

I have eight books planned for the series:
  1. Claimed
  2. Hunted
  3. Sought
  4. Found
  5. Revealed
  6. Pursued
  7. Exiled
  8. Shadowed


And just so you know, five of them are already out and will be reviewed here at Guilty Indulgence Review Site this week. So if you like to zip through a series like I do, there are enough to keep you busy for awhile.

The first book, Claimed, is about Olivia Waterhouse, a regular Earth girl who has just graduated nursing school. She’s all set to begin her life when she finds out that she’s been “drafted” or claimed by a Kindred warrior as his bride. By law she has to go to the Kindred Mothership for a one month Claiming Period. If she can resist the warrior’s advances for that long, she’s allowed to go home and get on with her life. The problem is, he’s allowed to touch her more intimately every week and since the Kindred make it their life’s mission to please their women sexually, holding out is going to be harder than she imagined. Can you say resistance is futile? ; )

For your (ahem) edification and in case you should be called as a Kindred bride yourself, here are the rules of the Claiming Period.

The Claiming Period lasts for four weeks during which the Kindred warrior attempts to seduce his chosen bride and she tries to resist him:
The Holding Week: the Kindred warrior may hold his bride.
The Bathing Week: the warrior and his bride bathe together and he is allowed to massage her with scented oils and make her come.
The Tasting Week: the warrior is allowed to perform oral sex on his bride.
The Bonding Week: sex is allowed but it is completely up to the bride whether she will take things a step further and allow bonding sex which is a special and specific process to the three different types of Kindred males. (Most women have given in well before this point but a few do resist.)

Well, I think you can see why Olivia is having a hard time resisting her personal Kindred warrior. Not that she isn’t trying her hardest—after all, she doesn’t want to leave her friends and family and she didn’t just go through four years of nursing school to sit around on her tushy eating alien bon-bons and playing housewife to a massive Kindred warrior—no matter how hot he is. Oh and Olivia’s guy? He’s a Beast Kindred which means he can go for hours with no stopping. And that’s exactly what he wants to do to poor Olivia. Ouch. Or yum depending on your viewpoint.

Here’s an excerpt to get you hot and bothered.

Claimed Excerpt—not suitable for work (unless you have a kinky boss ; )
           Suddenly she wished that she’d read the fine print on the contract she’d signed and not just relied on Kat to interpret it for her. All she really knew was that they had to sleep in the same bed and eat at the same table every day and night and he wasn’t allowed to touch her in a sexual way during the first week. Don’t forget you have to start bathing with him during the second week, whispered the little voice in her head. Just the thought of that gave her the shivers again.So what exactly happened in weeks three and four? What was he allowed to do?  How was he allowed to touch her?  She knew it was up to her whether she let him have bonding sex with her or not but she still didn’t know exactly what that entailed. Also, what about regular sex? Was he allowed to do that to her? And when? And where? And how?
Head spinning with questions, Liv made a mental note to get a copy of the contract she’d signed and go over it with a fine toothed comb. She needed to know what she’d gotten into if she was ever going to find a way to get out of it again.
“Here we are.”  Baird’s deep voice startled her out of her internal daze and Liv looked up to see that he was gesturing to a plain silver door.  As he motioned it slid inwards with a soft swoosh revealing a dark space of indeterminate size.
Liv looked up at him nervously. “This is it?”
He nodded.  “The back entrance, anyway.  Brought you this way so no other male could see you.” He eyed her hungrily again and Liv pulled his dark crimson shirt closer around her body, as though it could shield her from the desire in his eyes.
“Uh, looks nice,” she said, making no move to go it.  The dark room or rooms he was indicating were suddenly looking pretty scary. She had the feeling that if she was in a horror movie right now the people in the audience would be screaming “Don’t go in there!” at the top of their lungs.
“Well?” Baird gestured again, obviously waiting for her to precede him but still Liv hung back.
“Uh…I think I forgot something on the ship,” she said, backing away. “Do you mind if I go get it?”
“You didn’t bring anything to forget.” There was a definite hint of impatience in the deep, growling voice. “Are you coming in or not?”
“I choose not.”  Liv shook her head.  “I just…I don’t think so.  No thanks.”
Baird looked at her with obvious disbelief.  “You have to come in—this is where I live. Where else would you stay?”
“Um—well, do you guys have guest rooms or anything like that? I mean, it’s a big ship so you must have someplace else, right?” Liv was feeling more and more nervous and it wasn’t just the fact that he was big and dangerous and scary looking.  She had a feeling that if she went into his suit, that she might not come out again as the same person.  That somehow being near him twenty-four/seven for the next month would change her, make her lose control.
“Olivia, you can’t stay in the guest quarters. You’re my bride and this is our claiming period.” The big warrior was practically growling with impatience.  “What’s the problem?”
“How can you ask me that?” she flared at him, crossing her arms protectively over her chest.  “You stand there staring at me like I’m an antelope and you’re a really hungry lion and you’ve told me about twelve times how you can’t wait to get me in bed, or up against the wall, or anywhere at all for that matter.  And now you want to know why I’m scared to go into a dark room and be alone with you?  What do you think I am—crazy?”
He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his thick black hair.  “I can’t believe this.  Haven’t I told you I would never hurt you?”
Liv frowned up at him. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure about your definition of ‘hurt.’  I mean, forced sex isn’t always painful but just because it doesn’t hurt doesn’t mean it isn’t rape.”
“Is that what you think of me?  That I want to take you by force?”  He swooped down on her suddenly, eyes blazing a molten gold.  Liv backed up but before she knew it she was pinned against one cold metal wall with his thick, muscular arms on either side of her and his face inches from hers.
“Well what am I supposed to think?” she demanded, hoping her voice didn’t tremble too much.
“You can think whatever you want, Olivia, but you should know one thing.”  He leaned even closer, his hot breath stirring her hair as he murmured in her ear.  “When I take you—because I will take you—make no mistake about that,” he said, cutting off her protest.  “When I do, I promise you’ll want it every bit as bad as I do. You’ll beg for it, Linlenta.  Beg to have my shaft inside you, filling you up as I bond you to me forever.”
“You arrogant bastard.”  Liv narrowed her eyes at him.  “You must have a pretty high opinion of yourself if you think I’ll welcome you with open arms and beg for more.”
“It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact.” He drew back so that his lips were hovering over hers, close enough to kiss but not quite touching.  Liv could almost taste the exotic cinnamon spice of his breath and his scent, the wild musk that she kept noticing when she was near him, seemed to invade all her senses at once, making her dizzy.
“You…I…What makes you think that?”  She wished she could think of a wittier comeback but somehow her brain didn’t seem to be working right.  All she could think about was how close he was, all she could feel was the heat radiating from his big body and bare chest against her own mostly bare skin.
“The reason I know how you’ll react is because I’m going to spend hours getting you ready, driving you crazy with my mouth and hands.” His eyes were blazing and half lidded with lust as he spoke.
“Get…getting me ready?” Liv faltered.
Slowly, he nodded.  “I can’t wait to touch you. Can’t wait to taste you—to spread your sweet, creamy thighs and put my tongue in your hot little pussy until you beg for more.  Beg to have me inside you, filling you all night.”
“I—” Liv began but he cut her off with a kiss.  And not a butterfly-soft kiss like the one he’d given her at the HKR building, either.  This time his mouth on hers was hard and demanding—as hard and demanding as the rigid shaft that was suddenly branding her belly.  Liv fought him at first and then, panic making her heart race. And then, somehow she was kissing him back. His mouth was hot and forceful and his lips delicious—like sucking cinnamon candy.  Baird reached down and she felt big, warm hands encircling her bare thighs. Then she was being lifted and carried into the dark room that had seemed so frightening just a few minutes ago.
Oh God, what am I doing?  Where are we going? screamed the practical part of her brain.  But her body overruled it as his tongue darted between her lips, licking with surprising delicacy at the roof of her mouth.  Moaning, Liv licked back and before she knew it he was sucking her tongue in a way that made her faint with desire
That’s all for now but if you go to Smashwords http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/41592 you can read 15% of the book for free. And since it’s a plus length novel, 15% is a good amount. You can also purchase any of my books by clicking on the link at the bottom of this blog site.

Many thanks to the lovely ladies at Guilty Indulgence for letting me post here today. It’s been a great pleasure and if anyone has questions about Claimed or the Brides of the Kindred (how exactly DOES the Beast Kindred’s mating fist work? And do the Twin Kindred REALLY have to have sex with their chosen bride at the same time?) feel free to comment and I’ll be happy to answer.
Evangeline

AUTHOR CONTACTS
You can find me at my website www.evangelineanderson.com


CONTEST ALERT!!!
COMMENT and tell us which would be your perfect WARRIOR. Enter all week through May 1st to be eligible to WIN a $25 Amazon Giftcard. This contest is graciously hosted by the author.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Mystic Ink, Connecticut

Casey Wyatt's Debut Novel
"Wyatt’s writing is sharp – her book extremely well-written – with good pacing and constant action."

EXCERPT
Nix, thoughts still swirling in her mind, headed toward the side door. After she unlocked the deadbolt, her eyes automatically went to the dumpster. Nothing. Thank the Gods. Her sigh of relief was quickly sucked back in. A dark shape further down the alley caught her eye. Maybe it was a heap of clothes or a bag of garbage. Whatever it was, it was lying near the entrance of the Underworld Gate. The Gate was invisible to all eyes, except Guardians—like her, Hades, and Charon. Whoever or whatever was back there couldn’t have known how close they were to the Underworld.
“Hell. Now what?” Please, be trash that some rude asshole left in my alley.
Rather than kick it with her foot, she decided to be more prudent and find something long to use as a poker. While grabbing a shop broom inside, she registered how quiet the place was. Of course, Basil wasn’t there. He was still with Jason.
Back in the alley, Nix slowly approached, straining for a better look. The pile was inside the building’s shadow. The closer she got, the more the lump resembled a body. She cursed. “Oh, come on! Why does this keep happening?”
Broom at the ready, she gave it jab. The mass was solid and there was no crinkle of plastic. So much for the garbage bag theory. Man, she did not want to have to call the police. At the rate she was going, they would probably arrest her just on principle.
Stupid mound.
She lifted the broom, ready to strike. An arm sprouted from the pile and shot up, stopping the handle from falling.
Nix barked, “What the hell?”
The broom clattered to the ground.
A dark figure rose up. The set of the shoulders, the short black hair . . . it was awfully familiar. “Cal?”
“Nix,” he said, his voice strained and tired. His arm extended, propping his body against the brick wall.
“If this is your idea of a joke, it’s not funny.” When he didn’t respond, Nix came up behind him and placed her hand on his back. “Are you—”
The words choked off. There was something wrong. Really wrong. His energy, the essence of his life, was out of whack. Like he was missing . . .
She put her hand up to her mouth, swallowing dread as he turned to face her. “Cal, where’s your soul?”

REVIEW
Having grown up nearby to Mystic, Connecticut and being a fan of paranormal romance, I just had to read Mystic Ink. With this mix of the paranormal world co-existing in the small coastal town of Mystic, Casey Wyatt crafted quite a cast of characters for her debut novel. One of my favorite characters is Basil, the talking parrot who repeats everything he hears and offers some of the best humor.

I was hooked from the very beginning with the constant adventure and intrigue (it took me most of the book to figure everything out which I found made the book even more interesting). Readers will experience solving the mysteries surrounding Nix and Cal, the two main characters, right alongside them.

Nix thought she was on vacation from her job as a supernatural destroyer (there’s a lot of mythology base – you’ll have to read to sort through them on your own). She is running her uncle's tattoo shop when dead bodies start showing up in the alley next to her shop and since her uncle is now missing, Nix has to deal with it. She’s more than capable as the bad-ass heroine full of spunk with enough strength to back up her sassy attitude. Loved her!

Cal, her protector, is deliciously sexy and fiercely protective. Cal knows more about Nix than she knows about herself (her memory gets erased after each mission) including the not-so-minor detail that they were an item at one time during their long lives. But none of that matters when his soul is stolen and Nix has to save him. The tension (sexual and otherwise) between the two is palpable from the very beginning and builds fluidly without taking over the entire story. These two are great fun as a couple.

Wyatt’s writing is sharp – her book extremely well-written – with good pacing and constant action. There was never a chance to put the book down as I flipped from page to page to find out what happened next. There was a lot going on, with many, many characters and oodles of plot twists leaving readers a bit dizzy. It just nearly hangs on the verge of being too much. But it’s all good stuff. I enjoyed solving the mystery alongside Nix and Cal.

RATING: 5 Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries
This book was given to us by the author. Many thanks.

Visit Casey on the web: www.caseywyatt.com or at http://secretsof7scribes.wordpress.com/.
You can also find Casey on Facebook and Twitter (@CaseyWyatt1).
If you want to leave comments here for the author, she will try to respond.

BUY LINK
Mystic Ink can be found atwww.soulmatepublishing.com and at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Darkest Caress is Delicious


I will confess to being completely skeptical when I saw Kaylea Cross, my very favorite romantic suspense author, was writing paranormal romance. Regardless, I couldn’t stay away. My curiosity got the best of me. Thank goodness! I definitely wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on this book and neither will you. Darkest Caress rates right up there with some of the best known paranormal series. (Heck, I’d even say those who like Kresley Cole or Lara Adrian will be fans of this series.)

As usual, Cross’s writing is crisp with flawless flow to her story. She uses her knack at writing suspense to fill Darkest Caress with intrigue, suspense and danger. This is no simple love story as she provides readers with a fresh take on the paranormal world. The immortals – known as the Empowered – exist around folklore with a hint of magic and supernatural abilities that give this book its uniqueness.

Daegan is the Coven Leader of the Empowered. He has been fighting to save humanity from the darkness for nearly two centuries. While searching for a new home for his coven in Vancouver, Daegan meets Olivia, a real estate agent. He knows immediately she is his mate. Yet past experiences hold Daegan back from bonding with her even while the need for his mate draws him towards her. Their chemistry is deliciously hot and the tension near palpable as he attempts to control this bonding as he controls everything else.

Compelled to her mate, Olivia becomes immersed in a world she never knew existed before meeting Daegan. With a prophecy steeped in mythology and folklore hanging over her, Olivia is not only dealing with falling in love but with the decision to accept her role in the prophecy to destroy the darkness, i.e. the Obsidian Lord. She gained my respect as a strong heroine by not simply accepting what she was told.  She questions, analyzes and then makes her decisions. She even possesses talents of her own that I suspect will become more useful as the war with darkness begins. Used as a pawn, Olivia holds her own – one scene in particular gives the true measure of Olivia’s strength while also exemplifying Cross’s ability to convey the deep emotion and energy of her characters.

We meet several other characters and learn much about their world through other story threads woven throughout the book effortlessly. Connections were made in subtle ways with many of the characters. Vaugh, sigh.... Cade, double sigh... Cross provides us with enough information to understand their world while leaving other information to be garnered in future books. Fabulously done.

With exceptionally drawn characters, a story rich in folklore (have I mentioned I love this?), and a fresh take on the paranormal world, Darkest Caress gets 5 Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries. I devoured this book from beginning to end, albeit sitting on the edge of my seat.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Nick

This time last Friday we were on our way to Richmond for some self inflicted pain. LOL My left side is all inked up and let me tell you it hurt like a bitch! It was bearable for the most part but the last 30 minute or so were hell. I had to go to my happy place in my head (not a word Tyra!) and Tyra was holding my hand and rubbing my neck and Jenn was rubbing my feet. What would I do without them:) The end result is amazing. I love it. David at Absolute Art did and awesome job. After the ink we had some dinner and did some reading. Saturday found us at Short Pump mall and MACY'S.   This is what I was reading while away.......

Infamous by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Go to school. Get good grades. Stay out of trouble. That’s the mandate for most kids. But Nick Gautier isn’t the average teenager. He’s a boy with a destiny not even he fully understands. And his first mandate is to stay alive while everyone, even his own father, tries to kill him. He’s learned to annihilate zombies and raise the dead, divination and clairvoyance, so why is learning to drive such a difficulty? But that isn’t the primary skill he has to master. Survival is. And in order to survive, his next lesson makes all the others pale in comparison. He is on the brink of becoming either the greatest hero mankind has ever known. Or he’ll be the one who ends the world. With enemies new and old gathering forces, he will have to call on every part of himself to fight or he’ll lose everyone he cares about. Even himself.





As you know Sherrilyn Kenyon can do no wrong in eyes. She invokes the fan girl in me. New books make me squeal and giggle and this book did not disappoint! In this installment Nick is learning more about his powers and that he has his free will and choices to make. Evil can overcome good. Nick spent a large part of this book being beat up and put in the hospital, which is bound to happen when just about everybody wants you dead.  Nick's dad Adarian makes an appearance as well as every one's favorite heifer goddess, Artemis. Nick makes a deal with Artemis that I know is gonna come back to bite him not once but several times I have a feeling. The thing I love most about the Chronicles of Nick series is that there are so many of the Dark Hunters from other books making appearances. I just love it! If you've not read the Dark Hunter series what the hell are you waiting for? If you have add the Chronicles of Nick to your to be read list. There is so much more to be learned!

I give this book 5 chocolate dipped strawberries and the standard bottle of BBQ sauce in honor of Simi.
PEACE

Solitary - Sean Michael

Solitary, Sean Michael, Torquere
Greg's on a downward spiral. He broke his back a few years into a promising stunt career, then his master died shortly after they began living a BDSM lifestyle together. He's just lost. So lost, that he can't keep a Master for more than two weeks. So lost that he's been arrested several times and is this close to winding up in jail. So lost that Master Oliver doesn't know what to do with him anymore.
In desperation, Oliver calls on his friend Appleton who lives in isolation in Northern Canada. Ap enjoys working with subs, and has both the time and the inclination to work with a lost soul like Greg. Not to mention, there's no way to get into legal trouble or run away from Ap's house given its location. So, Ap takes Greg in, hoping to help Greg find his center and himself again.
Will Greg find what he needs with Ap? Or will he find so much more?
Find out in this latest addition to Sean Michael's Hammer Club series.



Let me start by saying that I am a HUGE Sean Michael fan. His Jarhead series was some of the first m/m books that I read and I will always love them. I have also read a few from the Hammer series and while I don't devour them the way I do the Jarhead series I have enjoyed them.

This was a difficult subject to tackle. Greg's depression, and self destruction had a very real feel to it. His sense of being adrift and not really understanding why read true for someone so new to the BDSM lifestyle.

Appleton's patience and understanding were exactly what he needed. I also think the isolated environment was a positive factor in ushering the relationship along.

While I enjoyed the relationship development of the story line there were several continuity problems for me.  I was surprised that after only a 6 week relationship Tim already had a will drawn up that made Greg the beneficiary...and how does an EMT end up with 5 million dollars? I think a little more back story about Tim might have been helpful in this instance. I also had some problems with the repetitive phrasing in the story. And maybe it's just me but the shaving of the eyebrows kind of squicks me out.

What is great about this book is the building of trust that is so important in this type of relationship. I also liked the fact that it happens over a period of time, it's not one of those insta-love stories so it gave it a lot more depth. The care that Ap takes with Greg was beautiful to read and when it came to the more hardcore scenes they made sense they didn't feel forced it felt like the natural progression.

If you are looking for a stories of second chances then you definitely need to check out the entire Hammer series for not only those chances but some really hot kinky sex!

RATING: 3 Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries This book was given to us by Torquere. Many thanks.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Catching up with Teresa Morgan


Catching up with Teresa Morgan…. I first reviewed Ms. Morgan’s Cinderella and the Sheikh this past December. 


And Jenn reviewed it last summer.


Having loved it I’m thrilled to get to review her other two books in her Sheikh series. 

Handcuffed to the Sheikh and Sheikh with Benefits

Handcuffed to the Sheikh has spent over nine months in the Amazon.com Top 100 Romances and is the #1 Amazon.co.uk Romance/Short Story. 

Given that it is only 54 pages, I’ll try to sum it up without giving away too much of the story.  To quote the leading lady, Maxine Frost, “Best.  Abduction.  Ever.”  Maxine opens her front door thinking it is a salesmen coming to annoy her only to find an Arabian prince who promptly abducts her.  Sayd is brooding and sexy as hell but in her mind obviously insane given that he claims to be her husband.  He is pissed that she ran away and is demanding answers but she has no idea who he is.  He whisks her off to a secluded cabin and begins questioning her in an effort to try to piece together what is going on.  All the while Maxine is convinced she would remember this sexy man who has her body stirring but not her memory. 

This story is masterfully written.  The chemistry between the characters is intense and the possibility that there is more going on if what Sayd says is true makes the story exciting and page turning.  The ending is truly touching and the story does not suffer for the shorter length.  This is a great quick read and will have you immediately wanting to read more by Ms. Morgan due to it’s high quality.

Sheik with Benefits is also very well written.  Long time friends Arya and Sheikh Javad value each other’s friendship immensely.  Javad, the prince and second son, feels protective of her and longs to see her but doesn’t pursue her for more of a relationship for many reasons.  Arya has always lived in her sister’s shadows as the more subdued and shy sibling.  Her father has required her to be at his side helping him in his diplomatic roles.  In this role she has been around Javad for a long time and has grown to care for him at a soul deep level.  But she has also grown weary of always having to put on a mask and play the perfect hostess.  She longs for Javad to show any emotion to give her an indication that there might be more between them.  Finally, she has had enough and decides to arrive at an event wearing the most eye-catching dress she can and announce that she is done being on the sidelines.  She tells him, just to see his reaction and to force their relationship to take a turn one way or another, that she wishes to sleep with his brother, the king, and wants him to proposition him on her behalf.  And that if he doesn’t then she will find another man in the room willing to step up and be with her.  Javad is forced once and for all to look at her and notice that she is more than a friend and that if he doesn’t step up he may loose her forever.  This story is very touching given the tenderness the both feel for each other.    

I loved that in both stories the couples had known each other for a while.  The reader doesn’t feel that the story evolves to fast due to the shorter length.  It is more of a glimpse into an existing story but so well staged that the reader doesn’t feel lacking for previous back-story information.   These are both very believable couples.  Both women are strong and characters that most women can relate too. Both of these are stand-alone pieces and do not share characters with the other Sheikh stories by Ms. Morgan.  The men are smoking hot and when they claim their women it is with all the passion and fury of a desert wind. 

RATING:  Both stories are worth 5 chocolate dipped strawberries. 

Many Thanks to Teresa Morgan for the opportunity to review these stories!


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Humpday Hello to Patricia Pellicane!

Greetings and salutations humpday nation - halfway through and I am chanting my mantra of "I think I can, I think I can...." It's been a heck of a week - new tattoo, some serious retail therapy, hundreds of miles racked up on I81 visiting family in hospital, and some serious allergies from all this lovely spring green goodness....you know what?  I deserve something really special.  And I am going to share it with you - cause I'm a giver that way!  Kilty goodness (has NOTHING to do with this week's book, just like the look of a man in plaid!) Eye candy.....Mmmmmmmm




Tonight - South Tiana Road, Patricia Pellicane, Resplendence Publishing, 4/2012




South Tiana Road Series, Book One


After months of hard work, Carlie Russo took a night off to attend her best friend’s birthday party. While there she met a man who caused her to forget her usual common sense. Influenced by his magnetism, combined with the sensual entertainment provided, she grew intoxicated with desire. The outcome of a night sexier, and more wildly erotic than either could ever have imagined left both yearning for more. Their intention was to meet again, only there are times when circumstances ruin the best laid plans.


Tonight starts out like a single girl's fantasy night: get dressed to kill, meet a hot guy, have some hot sex.  Except that Pellicane writes with style, humor and more emotional depth than many other contemporary erotic romances. 

Carlie Russo is a true self made success.  And a workaholic.  Which is not conducive to a hot dating life so she takes a chance on some excitement in her life when invited to a friend's soiree.  Saved from a drunken accost by a stunningly handsome man, Carlie embarks upon an evening that delivers sensual interludes that lead up to a sexual encounter, a no holds barred night of passion with one rule - no names.  Rocked to her core, Carlie decides to take a chance and make a date with her mystery man with the plan to exchange names and get to know each other better - only he never shows up.

Jake Napolitano, DEA agent, wasn't expecting the sexy, erotic encounter with his mystery woman to intrigue him to the point of distraction.  Missing his flight from Vegas back to New York meant missing the date he was looking forward to more than he could have ever imagined.  Obsessed with his beauty, he tracks her down only to be turned away, repeatedly.  Desperate for any connection with her, he accepts her acquiescence of a phone friendship.  Little does he know it is only connecting them tighter, deeper and with something that feels alot like love.

A new to me author, Patricia Pellicane pulls off not only an excellent erotic romance but a true blue thriller - weaving in the mystery stalker plaguing Carlie and Jake as they reunite ratchets up the story into a real page turner.  The connection between the two very real, slightly flawed but driven people makes for quite an emotional roller coaster - seriously hot and sexy one minute and heart-breaking the next.  And like all rides, it does come to an exciting end.  And like the best rides, it leaves you wanting to jump on and ride again!

I give Tonight five chocolate dipped strawberries!


This book was given to us by Resplendence Publishing for an unbiased review. Many thanks.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

From A to Z With Kim Dare

Hello. I’m over here. Look up. Yep, here I am… up here, out on the limb. I’m hanging upside down; just busy reading something out of my norm. There's a little f/f action going on and then a fem domme on top of that. Definitely out of my normal reading comfort zone. Best thing about it though is BDSM shorts by Kim Dare are delicious no matter which flavor they come in.

The first of her A to Z series I read is Admiring Anna, a f/f BDSM story. It was a hot little twenty-two pages… whew!  More importantly though, this author can capture the essence of two people coming together so honestly it leaves the reader feeling like a peeping tom.

Samantha, an artist’s assistant, has admired Anna, one of the nude models for awhile now. Having overheard conversation of a club Anna frequents, Samantha visits the club only to discover its more than she expected. Anna is in fact something special – she’s a Domme. And the club caters to female dominants and their submissives. Samantha doesn’t know whether to run and hide or follow Anna’s commands. Luckily for us, she can’t resist Anna’s commands. With such simplicity and grace, Anna calls out Samantha’s natural submissive hiding within her. The tenderness and passion mix to create a beautiful scene and with just this one scene, readers will see just how much chemistry and potential this couple has. 

RATING: 5 Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries


Back into the m/f BDSM, Obeying Olivia is just as hot a read. What this author can do in a few pages many authors can’t do given an entire novel. Honestly, smoke rises from her pages!

Mark, the bartender at the monthly meeting of local female dominants, has played at being submissive for months. He’s had a few scenes, but never dated any woman who inspires the submission he feels inside himself. He believes he can find what he needs with Olivia, one of the Dommes at these meetings but is held back by his knowledge that it isn’t his place to approach her.  So he simply watches and waits until one night when his fantasy comes to life. Olivia returns his interest and now Mark needs only to obey Olivia. The vivid description of this strong male submitting his body to this powerful Domme is fabulous. This story captures simply their first scene but it depicts such a sweet side to this natural submissive with his honest responses. It is so obvious this is just the beginning for Mark and Olivia.  

RATING: 5 Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries

These books were given to us by Resplendence Publishing. Many, many thanks.

Kim Dare's The Whole A to Z

Hello one and all. Jenn, Kim and I are back from our tattoo adventure in Richmond. They are both sporting shiny new tattoos and I have once again affirmed that I am to much of a wimp to ever get one myself. We also got in a little shopping at Short Pump which as an added little bonus due to the rain cancelling the soccer games that were scheduled for that day. I got a FABULOUS new purse and I love it! It's nice to be able to get away with the girls even if it is only for an overnight trip.

So this week I am here to tell you all about a few of the A to Z books from Kim Dare! These are erotic little nuggets that are quick and fulfilling.



Melting Mr. Mowburrey, Kim Dare, Resplendence Publishing
Mr. Mowburrey has a reputation on the local BDSM scene as a dominant with pure ice in his veins. He never gets attached to the submissives he plays with, never lets his emotions rule his head.

Tony is a young inexperienced submissive. When he falls for Mr. Mowburrey he knows he doesn’t stand a chance, but he still can’t resist making one last play for him. With the help of a sweet little prop, Tony is going to do his damndest to make Mr. Mowburrey melt.



What would you do if the Dom of your dreams didn't realize you were alive? Make sure he walks in and catches you eating something sinfully erotic.

One of the many things that Kim Dare does so well is the development of her characters in a short period of time. She always leaves you wanting to know more about the people she creates. The sexual tension between Mr. Mowburrey and Tony is palpable. You can't hope but cheer for Tony to melt Mr. Mowburrey's heart and get the relationship he craves. This is a "sweet", sexy read about the beginnings of a D/s relationship that leaves you hoping that these two will get another story. If for no other reason than Tony didn't finish that lolly.

Facing Fitz, Kim Dare, Resplendence Publishing
It took Harvey months to gradually work up the courage to let his friends set him up on a date with Fitz - a dominant he'd been admiring from afar ever since he set foot on the local kinky clubs. But, when their first scene ended in disaster before it even got started, he was very quick to retreat.
Forget going back to the club where he made a fool of himself. Harvey's determined never to leave the house again. Facing Fitz is out of the question.
Fitz, however, has other ideas. Intrigued by what he saw on that first date he's determined to do a real scene with Harvey. Dominant to the core, Fitz has no intention of walking away from a boy he's genuinely interested in without a fight.
Harvey is going to have to get over his embarrassment and face Fitz sooner or later and, with the help of a few friends, Fitz is determined he’ll do that tonight.


After a disastrous first "scene" together Harvey is determined to never see Fitz again. Embarrassed and humiliated he refuses to even go back to the club. When his friend finally talks him into going back for one night it just may be the catalyst that changes everything.

This book explores how to handle a D/s relationship when the sub has a debilitating case of claustrophobia. It explores the psychological aspect of submitting as opposed to the physical. I felt Harvey's fear and frustration, his need to submit and sense of failure that he couldn't. I loved the way that Fitz handled Harvey's phobia and was so caring in the way that he did. This book really brought out the care and understanding that a good Dom must have.

RATING: 4 & 5 Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries respectively.  This book was given to us by Resplendence. Many thanks.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Brass Balls - Mia Watts

Brass Balls, Mia Watts, Resplendence Publishing

Handcuffs and Lace Series
Kissing a fellow police officer might not have been the smartest drunken move Oak Takala has made in recent years. Okay, and it might have complicated the issue that the officer in question is his father’s former partner, Wyatt Peterman. Aaaaaand there’s the fact that Peterman is the newly appointed precinct captain.
So what the fuck? Why not go balls to the wall and make a play no one will forget?





This is not only a May/December romance, it is a supervisor/subordinate situation that really couldn't get more complicated. Not only is Wyatt Oak's new Captain at the precinct he is also Oak's dads ex-partner and best friend. Not to mention he is about 16 years older than Oak and has been fighting his attraction to him for the last several years.

Oak has been in love with Wyatt since he was about 16 years old but never thought he had a chance, and when Wyatt is made Captain he became even more unattainable....that is until the beer kicks in!

This is another addition the the Handcuff and Lace series that is so much fun. I love the mini morsels of hot and sexy and always find myself ready for the next one as soon as I finish...kind of like potato chips....one is never enough! The only reason that I didn't give this one a 5 was because I felt the ending was a bit rushed and could have used 5-6 more pages to wrap things up neater.

If you like your stories sexy and short then grab this one by the balls and don't let go!

RATING: 4 Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries. This book was given to us by Resplendence Publishing. Many thanks.

Resplendence Monday!

Whoops, did I get the day wrong? I don't usually shout out on Mondays but...here I am! So, like breakfast - the most important meal of the day, Monday is a most important day of the week....survive it and the rest is....still waiting for you but you'll be one day closer to the weekend, right? Have some eye candy to help you survive! I made it special just for you!


It's raining cats and dogs out today (and all weekend for that matter....)  What goes better on a rainy day than a good book?  Resplendence Publishing delivers some sassy, sexy new reads for you to check out!




Best Buds, Dakota Rebel, Resplendence Publishing, March 2012

Roses are red, and white and yellow…

Scarlett’s husband, Scott, buys her roses every Friday night. He has his own code for what each bloom’s color means. Some nights, she’s in for romance; some nights it’s bondage. But this Friday, Scarlett comes home to find a new color of flower sitting on her table. Yellow. The color of friendship.  When she arrives at dinner to find their friend, Daniel, has decided to join them in their weekly adventures, she’s nervous but excited at what the evening has in store for her.


Another super short story but one that piques the reader's interest from the start.  What girl doesn't like roses? What woman doesn't want the blush of first romance to live long past the early wedding days? Scott and Scarlett are a couple who have managed to improve their sexual relationship with a most interesting form of communication.  Different roses to signify different sexual moods - and the new color yellow means things are going to a whole new level.

I appreciated the realistic quality of Scarlett's emotional battle.  Upon realizing what lay in store for her as she spies her husband and his best friend seated at the table on their date night, her initial reaction is shock. Fear sends her to the bathroom in a fit of complete anxiety - for most women, taking another man to bed is tantamount to cheating, even if it's sanctioned and especially if it's not pre-planned.  Dakota Rebel, however, has a way of crafting characters and storylines that both enflame and soothe the sensibilities of her readers - encouraging  them to think outside the box, color outside the lines and appreciate the sensual stories she creates.  All in all very well done Ms. Rebel!

I give Best Buds 4 chocolate dipped strawberries.


Vampire's Brat, Cheryl Dragon, Resplendence Publishing, April 2012
 A plus-size woman with a big mouth and power over the dead can’t fall for an old-fashioned vampire who loves curves. But when an evil vamp is out there killing humans, she’ll take all the help she can get. From lavish New Orleans costume parties to the bayou swamps, she won’t stop until one vamp is dust and the other is under her spell because there’s no way she’ll fall under his!


Cheryl Dragon has a reputation for creating highly sensual, erotic romances.  They range from thrill ride adventures to out of this world excitement.  One common thing they have, regardless of whether she's writing menage, paranormal, BDSM or straight up erotica: Chemistry, plain and simple.  Her characters always have this palpable, tangible chemistry - a little naughty, a little sassy, never predictable and always enjoyable.


Kitty is a heroine a real girl can adore - she's smart but doesn't flaunt it, sexy but doesn't know it and unbelievably powerful as a necromancer in a city known for voodoo and vampires. Christian is a powerful vampire who, working in conjunction with Kitty, has created a place for the local vamps and vamp curious can party and indulge safely - reducing unseemly and inappropriate human deaths. Apparently not every vamp agrees and the pair join forces to seek him out before more killings can occur. Unfortunately for Christian, the long held desires he has for the very human, very alive Kitty are nearly killing him! Their encounters are witty and fun and watching the two toe dance around their mutual attraction is like watching Dancing with the Stars - just plain fun. When those two finally connect, it's straight 10's across the board - even with the threat of imminent death!

For such a short story, this piece carries a pretty big punch! I love a novella that feels longer than it really is. Well written, tight plot, great characters and sex to make a reader see stars!

I give Vampire's Brat a five chocolate dipped strawberries.

Both Best Buds and Vampire's Brat were provided by the publisher, Resplendence Publishing for unbiased reviews, Many Thanks.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies

“The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies”

by Lynn Messina
Published by Potatoworks Press
Action/Adventure, Comedy, Mystery/Thriller, Romance

BLURB:
Hattie Cross knows what you're thinking: Zombie sex? Ewwwww. But she also knows that since a virus turned 99.9999 percent of human males into zombies, it's statistically impossible to meet--let alone date--the remaining 0.00001 percent. So she writes "The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies" to help her fellow single women navigate the zombie-relationship waters.

Her practical how-to impresses the CEO of the largest drug company in the world, and before she knows it, Hattie, a reporter for a downmarket tabloid that specializes in conspiracy theories, is sitting down with the woman who single-handedly invented the zombie-behavioral-modification market. Granted access to the inner sanctum of zombaceuticals, she meets an actual, living, breathing M-A-N.

Now Hattie, the consummate professional, is acting like a single girl at the end of the twentieth century: self-conscious, klutzy and unable to form a coherent sentence without babbling. Worst of all, the human male appears to have impaired her ability to think clearly. Because all of a sudden she's convinced a conspiracy is afoot at the drug company and it seems to go all the way to the top!

EXCERPT #1:

Introduction
Why Date a Zombie?

IF YOU’VE BOUGHT this book, then you’re either dating a zombie or thinking about dating a zombie. You know that in this postblight world, your chances of getting hijacked by a terrorist, being staked to a bamboo pole in the Heilongjiang Province of Inner Mongolia and having your spleen eaten by a saber-tooth tiger are eight times greater than meeting one of the estimated 344,923 men left on the planet.

You’re a practical young woman who isn’t willing to waste her time on impossible fantasies sold to her by the Hollywood dream machine.

Welcome to the rest of your life.

Naturally, as sensible as you are, part of you can’t help but wonder if dating a zombie is settling. Can’t a woman like you—smart, funny, attractive, kind—do better than an animated clump of rotting flesh that lives only to consume brains?

No, you can’t.

With 99.9999 percent of the male population transformed into zombies, all that are left are animated clumps of rotting flesh that live only to consume brains.

But you don’t have to be a glass-half-empty girl. Your cup runneth over. You just have to be able to see it.

And that’s why you’re reading The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies. This book will help you understand and navigate the challenges and rewards of the zombie-dating lifestyle. You’ll learn how to…

• Meet zombies. Discover where they hang out and who they hang out with. The best zombie hotspots are just around the corner!
• Talk to zombies. Chatting with the reliving is easier than you’ve ever imagined! All you need to know are a few key phrases and you and a zombie can have hours of deep, meaningful conversation.
• Dance with zombies. They might not have brains but boy, do they have rhythm. Master the step-drag-step of their beloved merengue and dance the night away with the zombie of your dreams.
• Make love with zombies. Physical contact doesn’t have to be icky or gross. With the right accessories and hygiene products, the fetid flesh of a zombie can smell as lovely as a garden rose.
• Cohabitate with zombies. Zombieproofing your home has never been so easy! A few simple changes will make your living room a safe environment for any zombie, however oblivious to fire, sharp corners and the precious Ming vase your grandmother left you.
• Medicate zombies. Medication is domestication. All a zombie needs to be a productive member of society is the right dosage. The chart in chapter 21 makes it easy for you to figure out which pills your zombie needs and when.

Remember, at the heart of every relationship is companionship, and this is what zombies provide—in spades.

Zombies are steady.
Zombies are reliable.
Zombies are here.

Plus, they love to go shoe shopping (more about that later!).

I’m not saying that zombies are better than men. Perish the thought! But men are gone and now we women have to do what we’ve done since time immemorial: Make the best of what we have.

And it’s a pretty darn good best!

Trust me, I know. I’ve been having satisfying zombie relationships for over six years and with the help of this book, you will too. Turn the page to get started right now.

EXCERPT #2:

The Sweet Treat Sofa

THE HIGH-FIBER Breakfast Hour’s Sweet Treat segment kicks off every morning with a flashing red light, a piercing police siren and a dancing pink panda carrying a fuchsia sign that says, I LOVE HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP FLUFF FROM FUNFOODS, across the set. The crowd hoots and hollers because everyone loves a pink panda hopped up on sugar.

The director points to the host, who smiles into the camera as it cuts to her from the audience. “Good morning and welcome back to The High-Fiber Breakfast Hour. Joining me on the luscious pink sofa today is an extra sweet treat for you: Hattie Cross, author of The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies.” Delia Fortune, a former Miss America with a towering strawberry bouffant and sparkling superwhite teeth, turns to me with a searching look. “Hattie, we have lots of ground to cover, but I’m going to get right to the nitty-gritty and say, Zombie sex. Ewww.”

I laugh. It’s completely forced and fake, but I’m on a national morning show with a pink panda and a strawberry bouffant. If I can’t roll with a few ewwws, then I should have stayed in bed. “Fair enough. The thought makes a lot of women go ewww.” I look to the audience. “Am I right?”

The response is mixed. Some women clap, but an almost equal number boo. I’m not surprised. Zombie sex has been around for almost as long as variant Y zombies.

“I can tell from the response that some of the ladies here have tried it.” Another round of cheers follows. “I’ll admit that sex with a zombie isn’t the ideal situation. The ideal situation is sex with a human male. Who here has had sex with a human male?”

Dead silence.

“None of us, right? Because human males haven’t existed for the average woman in twenty years. So if you keep that in mind, zombie sex isn’t bad at all. It can certainly be more satisfying than masturbation.” I turn to my host with a twinkle in my eye. “I’m sorry. Can I say masturbation on morning TV?”

Delia twinkles back. “Of course. It’s 2020. You can say anything. But let’s get really real: Zombies smell. They lose body parts. Their flesh is decaying.”

I nod profusely. “All valid points. However, with the right drug regimen, these conditions can be controlled. For example, Zombreeze neutralizes zombie smell from the inside. It can even make your boyzomb smell like roses. I devote an entire chapter to zombaceuticals in my book.”

“I’m glad you brought up drugs. Isn’t it true that you have to medicate zombies for them to have sex? Doesn’t that underscore how unnatural the act is?”

“All living and reliving things have a sex drive,” I explain. “It’s the basic nature of the beast. Sure, you have to use certain chemical stimulants in order for the zombie to perform physically, but the drive is there. Think of the late-twentieth-century male suffering from erectile dysfunction. It’s the same principal.”

The audience cheers again. “All right. But kissing. You have to admit that’s pretty gross.”

“Oh, completely,” I say with girlish glee. The effort of being so aggressively upbeat is starting to make me light-headed, but I stay the course. “Kissing a zombie isn’t for everyone. It’s certainly not for me. But that’s a decision each woman should be free to make. Again, I refer you to late-twentieth-century practices that some women chose to perform and others didn’t. I think of kissing as the equiv-alent to what used to be described as swallowing.” I nod to the audience. “You know what I’m talking about, right?”

The cheers turn into howls and last a full thirty seconds.

Delia quiets the audience with a wave. “All right. We’ve talked about the worst part of dating a zombie. Now let’s talk about the best. What tops the list?”

“Never having to sit by the phone waiting for him to call. No mind games. No wondering if he likes you or doesn’t like you. No obsessing,” I say, referring to the common neurotic female practice that was at the heart of dating human males two decades ago.

“I can get behind that,” Delia says.

“So I’m starting to win you over?”

BUY LINKS:

Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Guide-Dating-Zombies-ebook/dp/B00762LMQQ/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Barnes & Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-girls-guide-to-dating-zombies-lynn-messina/1108735552

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Lynn Messina grew up on Long Island and studied English at Washington University in St. Louis. She has worked at the Museum of Television & Radio (now the Paley Center for Media), TV Guide, In Style, Rolling Stone, Fitness, ForbesLife, Self, Bloomberg Markets and a host of wonderful magazines that have long since disappeared. She mourns the death of print journalism in New York City, where she lives with her husband and sons. She is author of six novels, including the best-selling Fashionistas, which has been translated into 15 languages.

Website: http://www.lynnmessina.com
Blog: http://zombiedating.wordpress.com

Review: Lynn Messina must have some miracle juice in her daily java! She manages to create a fun, entertaining story about a modern girls' search for love in the year 2025, a mere quarter century after a zombie plague wiped out most of the men in the world....leaving a girl's dating choices to essentially one - the "reliving".  How precisely one goes about this is explained step by step in Hattie Cross's The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies. Yes, they are gross, smelly and have a tendency to lose appendages at inopportune times but that's what modern zombiceuticals are for. 

Hattie's character is quite amusing.  Jumping back and forth between life montage scenes and excerpts from her book can be a bit distracting but the tongue-in-cheek humor keeps it going. It appears that zombies and angels are the new vampires and shifters....and with the opportunities for mixing humor and romance, this reader is betting they'll be around for a while!




RATING: 4 Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries!
This book was given to us by the author. Many thanks.
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